Layer-1

After all, what is a person – a face? An entity? A personality? The sum total of the emotions, interactions and memories held by others who know that person? What if no one knows you? What if no one can recognize you? Do you still exist?

I was standing in front of the bathroom mirror. Once again, I splashed the cold water over my face, scrubbed my face vigorously; rubbed my eyes. I can feel my cold damp hands. I can feel the water dripping down my face; and yet …

No, I think it may be best to start at the beginning! First, let me introduce myself to you. I am Mike Flannagan, 30 years old, with a well paying job. I am quite handsome, so say all my girlfriends. They tell me that all the gossip in the office about me always involves two words – handsome and hunk. I have never had problems obtaining dates; so I suspect it may be true that I am decent looking. I love my work; although I cant tell you all the details. Let us just say it is related to computer hacking. On the whole, life is good!

Or, was… till this morning.

Things started going wrong since this morning. Small things, things that came back to me now and appear portentous. For example, at my usual drive-thru coffee shop, the usual Philippine girl did not offer the usual ‘Good morning, handsome’ greeting. Did not even smile when handing the coffee! Now, I am not a narcissist; but I feel entitled to my customary greetings.

Once in the office, I checked my calendar and was surprised. No meetings the whole day! All status reports completed, no work pending – very unusual. Dozen times a day, someone stops by to ask some silly questions – how do you do this, or why that doesn’t work, or what has gone wrong here. Today – no one! Not a soul! Stacy, Linda and Nancy are my usual customers. Finding every excuse to stop by my desk; sit cross-legged on my desk, ask silly questions, trade some office gossip; all the while running fingers through their hair or adjusting their lipstick. Today – nope! At one point, I just lingered by Nancy’s desk; and was taken aback by the totally blank look and the ‘yes?’ that she offered. I just walked away; hey, I am not desperate for the small talk.

You are probably thinking, what a self-centered, spoiled, over-sensitive chump! Why can’t he realize others may be busy too.
Oh yeah? Now let me tell you what happened on the way back from work.

Granted, these small things through the day had probably been bothering me. Never realized I was speeding, until the flashing red lights appeared in the rear-view mirror and the deafening police siren broke my reverie. Well, no choice but to pull over by the side. Handed the license and registration to the police who stopped by the car. He went back to check the record. No worries there, I have a solid clean record. … Only, why is he taking so freaking long to check the record then?

Finally, he returned with the ticket. “Twenty-five miles over the limit and no license”! “Hey, what do you mean no license?” “Sir, this is an invalid license. No such person exists with those details. I could arrest you for a fake license; am letting you go this time. Go and get a proper license.” Before I could pick up my jaw, he was long gone; already starting his car. “What the hell is a ‘fake license’? How can this person not exist? What am I then - right here, in front of you; that is my date of birth, I actually live at that address!”. While putting the license back in the wallet, I saw the credit card. Childishly, I called the card company right there – I had to hear someone else say my name! After pressing seventeen different options, I finally got a human being on the line. When I punched in the credit card number, she said the number is invalid. I tried it three more times, with the same result every time. Called Linda, didn't pick up; called Stacy, cut me off even before the answering machine! Frustrated, I hung up and started driving – could barely make home safely. Next, I was afraid the apartment key may not work – but was incredibly relieved when it did! Small joys!

… the water dripping from my face and hands had made a puddle on the floor. Apprehensively, I decided to check the mirror one more time and panicked once again.

The mirror was blank.

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